As an educator for almost 20 years, I have witnessed the state of education change drastically. I am unsure if this can be attributed to covid and to parents being more involved in their student’s education than they had been for decades or if there was already a looming pendulum shift. All that it takes is one google search, and you can quickly see that teachers are leaving the profession at an alarming rate, citing teacher burn-out caused by low pay coupled with threats of physical safety and lack of equity top the list of reasons why this profession is dire need of a revamp.
I resigned during the 2021-22 School Year due to an increased flare-up of my chronic illness, hoping that if I returned to teaching, I could balance the stress and overload of work out a little bit. Since there were going to be significant changes in the leadership of the school, I chose to stay in my administrative role as we entered the 2022-23 School Year.
The COVID years brought instability in teaching staff and constant changes in the students’ learning structure. As the 2022-23 School Year started, I was eager to have what I thought would be a ‘normal’ year. However, before the end of the 1st quarter, I had two teachers out on medical leave, and one teacher submitted their resignation. Out of a teaching staff of 11, this was a brutal hit to the morale of the campus. In addition, we were still undergoing a 3-year construction project with looming permit delays. All of these impact the parents and the community. As the administrator, I had to hold up the front that all things were great and that the instructional implications would not be significant to our students.
Fast-forward a couple months into the school year, and my body was again in a constant flare-up. Daily symptoms impacted me as I struggled to make the drive to campus. Parents called throughout the evenings and on weekends or sent emails on a Saturday afternoon, which were sent to the governing board by Sunday evening if they were still waiting for a response. The leadership changes only made my role more stressful as I was instructed to ‘prove’ myself and that the campus enrollment dictated whether or not I would have a job the following year. Not that I had been an educator for almost 20 years, held advanced degrees in leadership, and most recently finished my administrative certification from Harvard Graduate School of Education.
As individual student challenges increased, so did my thoughts of whether or not this was where I wanted to be. Study after study has been published in the last year or two, citing the percentage of educators leaving the profession increasing nationally. This is trending upward at a significantly higher rate than any previous year. The challenge with the data is it is focused on teachers. What about the administrators needing help to fill the gaps and sub, find coverage, and convince the parents that their student will still receive an equitable education? How do administrators support the teachers who are feeling burned out when they can barely make it to campus without anxiety and stress?
So in December, I talked with my doctor, who was also getting ready to leave the medical profession and retire early. Another issue with the state of the world today is the medical profession, but we will save that for another post. He recommended that I take a leave of absence to focus on my chronic illness to reduce my daily stressors and refocus on my priorities. He said that the stress could be causing some of the additional symptoms I was having and we had already increased my infusion-based medications to every 4 weeks, which is the highest dosage.
Through this start of the school year struggle, my husband and I were also working on selling our house and buying a home across the country. A home with acreage ultimately helping to lower our cost of living and increase our ability to be more sustainable as we prepare for our early retirement and create a farm life for ourselves.
I submitted my resignation in October for the end of the school year, and by winter break had submitted my medical leave paperwork for the rest of the school year. As I walked out of the school on my last day before winter break, I was sad and relieved. Finally, I would have the time to focus on myself, my health, and my family and figure out where my passions lie. Yet, I was sad because I felt that the past couple of years of education had stolen my love and desire to be in the classrooms.
After I went on medical leave from my administrative role, I also resigned from my online teaching job and my facilitator job leading professional development from another company. Walking away from the education profession was a hard decision, one that I battled with for several years. Although I am thankful I had enough sick leave to support this transition in our lives, I know that not all educators have this option as they deal with the daily stresses of the classroom, so my heart is going out to you. I know the daily stress and the extra hours of planning, prepping, emailing, and grading. The stress of trying to do your best for kids and knowing that you can barely give yourself your all.
The type of anxiety you can only feel when the sole responsibility of 185 little lives is in your hands. If anything were to happen to them, the teachers, the support staff, the building… the internet, the copy machine (the list just keeps going), you are the one who is solely responsible.
I have started writing again. I have started working with a DIY Craft blogger, YouTuber, and content creator. I have read books on farming and gardening. I have spent time with my kids and husband. I have traveled. I have met with a group of specialist on the mainland that understand my disease and want to eliminate my symptoms and understand my goal of trying to support that naturally. I have dreamt of opening an apothecary tea shop and writing my own books. I see an early retirement in my future from full-time work and being able to grow a farm with my husband as we see our kids grow into the adults they were meant to be.
Escaping Crazy 